Clean Sweeping My Schedule
I have felt SO convicted lately about being a “Martha” and never being a “Mary”. I feel like I’m always looking at the next thing. The next client, the next date on my calendar, the next event, the next appointment…I rarely live in the moment. Just today I was thinking, “I can’t wait for Joshua’s birthday to be over.” That is terrible! I want to be a fun mom that enjoys life and enjoys my family and my children in each and every moment. I want to learn (it is going to be a learning process for me!) how to put my “agenda” aside and enjoy all the little moments I am currently missing out on because I’m too busy checking things off my list and preparing for ‘the next thing’. I’m now looking forward to Joshua’s birthday, having his friends spend the night, and throwing him a FANTASTIC birthday party on Saturday. I want him to enjoy every moment and I want to be there to enjoy it with him (hopefully capturing it all on camera :).
In order for me to become more like “Mary”, I knew the Lord was leading me to prioritize my schedule. Get rid of things that just don’t fit anymore and only keep the things that are best for my family.
One of the first things I felt like I needed to let go of was the praise team. Every single Saturday for I don’t even know how long, I have been at praise team practice. And every single Sunday for about the last eight years, I have been on stage singing. I absolutely love worship. I love being a part of the worship team and I’m looking SOOOOO forward to our new worship leaders coming next month. However, I NEVER have a weekend with my family…ever. In fact, Sundays are typically my busiest day of the week. It just shouldn’t be that way. As a result, I have really felt a need to purge all unnecessary things in my calendar. A clean sweep of my schedule. I have a hard time saying no. Especially if it is a client asking me to do extra work. In my mind, it is the responsible thing to say yes, hire a babysitter, squeeze it into my schedule, and earn the extra money. However, I came to the realization last week that I AM A HOMESCHOOLING, STAY-AT-HOME MOM WHO IS NEVER HOME!!! As a result, I cleared my schedule this week. Nothing on Monday, no school with the Bailey’s on Tuesday (sorry guys!), no girls’ lunch on Wednesday…it has been amazing. I go to bed each night almost stress-free. I wake up each morning, start the coffee pot, and sit down to watch cartoons with the boys for a little while. I didn’t even get out of my jammies until around 11am at least two of those days. This is how it needs to be more often. My house is clean, I’ve gotten caught up on all my laundry, my kids have gotten back on their normal schedule, and things are just more peaceful around here. I’ve actually sat down with a book a few times this week…just because I had TIME! Although I love all the things in my schedule, I love my family and my sanity more. Although it hurts me to cancel playdates with friends and quit something I love as much as the worship team, it is also liberating to know that I can stay at home with my children– which was my biggest intention all along. I know that eventually we will get busy again…busy is not always bad. But right now, in this season for me and my family, home is where I want to be. Just us, with nothing else to do. It’s nice.
~audrey