Dear Treadmill,

Please stop staring at me while I do my laundry. I know I haven’t had any interaction with you in a while, but it’s just rude to stare and it makes me self-conscious. I know my butt is bigger now than it’s ever been, but apparently that’s just not enough motivation for me. I mean, it’s not that I don’t like you anymore, I just like food a lot more. You see, I don’t have to take a shower after I eat…but I do after spending time with you. I can’t drive a car while I walk on your track, but I can bring food with me anywhere! Sure, you’ll make me look better and I’d have a LOT more clothes that fit me if we spent more time together, but you just haven’t been a priority lately! Sorry about the dust, I’ll clean you up every once in a while if it makes you feel better. I’ll even let your track down so you’re not all scrunched up against the shelves in the garage all the time. I’m thinking about getting you a friend! I like bikes. Bikes don’t hurt my back and I can go farther and faster on a bike, rather than walking.
Josh promises me we can move you inside once the addition is done, but THAT doesn’t seem to be a priority lately either! Don’t worry, you won’t be in the front yard at our next yard sale. I still love you. I promise I’ll do better with my part in our relationship, especially with the holidays approaching.
Is there any way you can fold my laundry if I pile it on top of you? I’d really use you a lot more if you could do that for me.

Well?

~audrey

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.