Just when I thought I was getting good at expecting the unexpected, I’m thrown another curve ball.

I got a call this afternoon from the children’s case worker with DFCS. Barring any unforeseen hitches, the children will be going to a relative tomorrow afternoon!

I have a ton of laundry to do and I need to make sure all of their things go with them, preferably clean.

I feel like I kind of lost my last shred of hope in regards to our girls after hearing about my supervisor’s conversation with their case worker and this relative that is still holding out hope. As a result, I told my boss to go ahead and consider us “open” for another placement when these kids go home. However, she stopped me mid-sentence and said she has not given up hope and still thinks they will be coming next month. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I’m so tired of the ups and downs.

I didn’t expect to feel this sad that these kids are leaving. I will miss them terribly. Each one is so different. I feel like I’ve given Sister a new confidence and identity in who the Lord created her to be and where she is to place her worth. Little Bear is so sweet as he follows me around babbling, “Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma,” with his big brown eyes staring deep into mine.  He hugs me so tightly, as if he knows I’m not going anywhere and he’s safe with me.  And sweet Baby Bear; his soft curls and contagious smile.  I’ll miss those slobbery kisses every morning as I open the door to his room to see him standing up in his crib with a big gummy grin on his face.  I will miss these kids.

The craziest part is, we could potentially start all over again in a few weeks.  Whether it be with our girls or other new foster children, it’s never easy and it’s never comfortable in the beginning.  It’s so stressful.  The sleepless nights, discipline issues, meeting the new birth parents, getting into a routine.  It’s exhausting for the first two weeks or so.

But, we’ve done it twice already, so I suppose we can do it again.

This is totally random, but Owen was in my bed this afternoon because he said that was where he wanted to take his nap.  I came into the hallway to check on him and I smelled poop.  (**uh-oh**)

Sure enough, he had pooped, taken it out of his underwear himself, smeared a little on my bed in the process, flushed it, and washed his hands.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH THAT KID?!

~audrey

The good news is, everything went excellently in court yesterday. Many truths came out and everyone involved is surely looking out for the best interest of the children. I believe mom got a bitter taste of reality and was finally put in her place. They will be going to a relative soon if everything goes as planned.

The bad news, or potentially bad news, is that my boss spoke to the case worker for our girls and found out that the relative who wanted to take them and was denied has moved to a different home and asked for a new home evaluation. If that home evaluation is approved everything will be over and the girls will go to that relative. Ultimately, I know that would likely be the best scenario for the girls; to remain with family. But my heart aches at the thought of them never joining our family. We should know within 30 days how things will end up.

We’re trying to be realistic. We don’t want to sit here with our house open (no foster children), waiting for two little girls that will never end up coming. However, we also don’t want to jump into another placement when these children leave, only to find out that our girls are on their way and now we don’t have room for them! Why does it have to be so complicated? I’m still clinging to hope that these girls are meant to be ours and we will hear good news in the end. But either way, I know that God’s plans are to prosper us and not to harm us and we will have peace with whatever the outcome.

Time to get in the shower and pack for our picnic in the park with Jesse’s class. :) They have a field trip to an assisted living facility and then a picnic in the park. It’s suppose to be our first 80 degree day today! Yay!!

~audrey

Please pray this morning as our foster children’s case goes back to court.  I’m pretty sure there is no chance the children will be returned to their parents yet, but I’m praying that some negative things that have been going on will come into the light.

“MOM” is very deceptive and manipulative and it is hurting ‘sister’ terribly.  She is thriving here and we love her very much.  I know she will eventually go home, but I pray that she will be going home to a Mom that has grown up because of the circumstances and is ready to really be her Mom and love her the way she deserves to be loved.

Also, please continue to pray for God’s timing in the arrival of our little girls.  There are currently no open foster homes for our current foster children, so I don’t know what would happen if we were to get a phone call that our girls are ready to come today.  It doesn’t make me nervous.  If God has brought us this far, He will be faithful to complete this awesome miracle for our family and our daughters.

Please pray.

~audrey

This weekend was ah-mazing.

The weather was absolutely beautiful. The kids were great. We had fun in the sun and made plans for the next few weeks.

We’re going to borrow a tiller from a friend so we can get started on our new garden. This year’s garden will be ten times bigger and in a different location. I’m planning for wild flowers, herbs, vining plants, and all the usual fruits and veggies. I can’t wait to get started!

Today is another GORGEOUS day.

Sunny and 70.

I took Jesse to his new Immunologist this morning and he basically said if all he finds in Jesse’s blood work is the same immune deficiencies that we already know about, he does not want to see him back.  He said about 1 in 5,000 kids have this type of immune deficiency and the majority of them outgrow it before puberty.  I told him of my plans to home school and he said that would definitely be the best thing for him and his immune system.  The blood work was incredibly traumatic, as usual, so I decided to keep Jess home from school.  We ate breakfast at Chick-fil-A and came home to work in the back yard.

We played catch, raked leaves, prepared our old veggie garden for flowers, and had lunch on the back patio.  Now the boys are sitting in the front yard watching the tree guys take down our neighbor’s tree.  I love boys!  :)  So easily and simply entertained and fascinated.

Days like these make me long for a country home where the boys could run wild and we could tend to our little animals (because of course we’d have animals!), pick flowers for every room in the house, and make fresh bread every week.

I suppose I can do most of those things with the house I have now…except for the animals.

I’m so excited for summer and having the kids home all day.  Later mornings are sounding really good too.  I’m looking forward to some summer schooling as well.  I know it sounds torturous, but the kids really thrive on having a solid daily routine…that doesn’t involve cartoons and video games.  It will, however, involve a swimming pool of some sort; hopefully the Family Y.   Six weeks to go!!   Jesse’s last day is May 15!!    YYAAYYYY!!!

~audrey