Isn’t it strange how we go through seasons of wanting something SO badly, only to realize it definitely wasn’t what God had planned for you at that particular time in your life?

I have a handful of friends between their late twenties to mid-thirties that are still awaiting husbands. Most of them are content with where they are in life, but a few are somewhat miserable and simply consumed with thoughts of marriage and the future. I’d be lying if I said I was never like that. Not necessarily about getting married, when I was single, but about other things relating to the future.

How many more children will we have?

Will we get another foster placement before our girls arrive?

Should we try to get pregnant again?

Am I filling the right roles at church?

Are my boys getting all that they should from me as their teacher?

Some of these questions are legitimate, but most are just a sign that I really prefer to feel as if I’m in control of my life, rather than freely giving everyday to my heavenly Father.

Our women’s ministry at church is called, “Girlfriends at Grace”. We’ve just begun some ‘special interest’ groups, called “G Groups”, within our women’s ministry and I agreed to lead the book club. It’s called Lit and Lattes. We’re reading Francine Rivers’ new book, “Her Mother’s Hope”. Read it! It’s so good and I’m only half way through it.
Last night was our kick-off meeting, held at my house. The boys went to my parents’ house to spend the night. I was able to devote the entire day to cleaning my house and getting ready for the ladies to come over. I cleaned things I hadn’t even noticed NEEDED cleaning before! I wiped down every single door frame in my house! I couldn’t believe how disgusting they were and how I’d never even noticed before! I cleaned out drawers, cabinets, and used an ENTIRE magic eraser getting pencil, marker, and crayon off of the walls. It was wonderful to have the whole day to get everything accomplished. I’ve needed a day like that for quite some time, and it felt good to wake up to the same clean house this morning. As I sat in the living room with all of those dear women last night, I thanked God for putting me exactly where I belong right now. As I mourned those other foster babies not coming last week, and then congratulated two friends on new pregnancies, I twisted and turned inside as I longed for the Lord to fill my womb, just one more time.
But last night, I looked around and saw such a variety of life in every seat of my living room; two women were retired, one woman has four children: one is married and expecting their first child, the twins are in college, and her youngest is in her final year of high school….at home. What an exciting time! Another young lady had just graduated from high school, will be starting college in the fall, and just got a job at Starbucks. And of course my dear Ashley, sitting on the floor, surrounded by love as the twins scooted and cooed and giggled all over the place, putting smiles on everyone’s faces.
In that very moment, I thanked God that I am freely submitted to whatever He has for me and my family. And in that submission is great freedom, peace, and joy. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I do know that He has me in the palm of His hand and His promises are for life and prosperity, whatever package it may come in.
It’s hard to believe my children are growing up so fast. It’s been over two years since I’ve held a baby to my breast in the middle of the night. Owen has been out of diapers for over six months now. There are no more sippie cups in my cabinets or dishwasher. I have a FIRST AND SECOND GRADER for goodness sake!! Where does the time go? As I plan for the coming school year and all that it holds, I’m excited about this new season. It could all change tomorrow, with one phone call from the agency. But I will have joy and peace as I walk through the unknown.

~audrey

First off: HAPPY FRIDAY!!

It’s hard to believe this is still the same week.

The same week in which I found out we would not be getting the babies.

I had a foster parent meeting this morning and then I headed over to the church, where somehow, I’ve become the “in-house” wedding florist. I actually REALLY enjoy it. I make the bouquets, arrangements, and boutineers. It’s a lot of fun…and a little stressful. I have to help the bride with her make-up in the morning, which is also stressing me out a little.

Tonight, I have a surprise birthday dinner to go to at PF Chang. I haven’t been there yet, but hear it’s really good. I’m just really excited about spending the evening with girlfriends…we could eat at Chick-fil-A for all I care!

My mother-in-law has my boys right now and will be dropping them back off at the house in the next 30 minutes or so. I really ought to be running around getting as much cleaning done as possible, but instead, here I sit, at the computer. I’m really relaxed because I know it’s the weekend, so I kind of feel glued to this chair. I’m not sure I could get up even if I wanted to.

In case you don’t know me well enough to know how much of a nerd I am in my own quirky little ways, let me tell you this:

I am SO excited for July to get here so I can start using my new homeschool academic planner!! :)

Have a fabulous weekend!! It is 107 degrees outside in Augusta. Holy.Smokin.Cow.

~audrey

After our exciting bomb shell news last Thursday evening about getting a new foster placement, I spent the entire weekend preparing; washing preemie clothes, getting the cloth diapers back out, changing batteries in the swing and bouncer, making sure all of our laundry was caught up, and just trying to get the house super clean so I can “coast” for the next week or so while we all get adjusted.

The children were originally going to be arriving this evening, sometime after 5:00pm. Then I got a call this morning informing me that I’d need to travel with my supervisor to their county (about three hours away), so I could meet with the NICU nurses and be trained on how to use the breathing monitor for the baby. I got all kinds of new details about the children, the baby, the background, etc. I was really getting excited. Even better, my mom is off on Tuesdays, so she will be able to keep the boys while I go out of town to pick up the children. All of this new stuff was just getting me more and more excited.

Then, all of a sudden, out of no where, my supervisor called me back and said the case manager is suddenly apprehensive about sending the children so far from home because the mom still has to have visitation with them on a weekly basis and it’s going to be a lot of traveling for the preemie. It’s true. So, things were up in the air for a couple of hours until I got another phone call from my supervisor again. This time, with the bad news; they’re not coming. It’s just going to be too much for the baby. He was nine weeks early and is still in the hospital as of today.

Obviously God has other plans, but I sure am disappointed. I could practically smell that newborn baby as I imagined holding his tiny five pound body. And of course I was excited about dressing that little two year old girl in the sweet dresses I’ve already been buying for my girls. I looked forward to ribbons and bows, knowing that God’s timing is perfect and everything would work out according to His plan.

That’s a little harder to swallow now.

~audrey

When our last foster placement left three weeks ago, I informed my supervisor and case worker that we really, REALLY didn’t want any foster children over the age of four in our next placement. I was told it isn’t common to get two or three siblings and one not be older than four, but that they would keep that in mind because none of the other foster parents want babies…too much work. Of course, then we got the call about the girls, but haven’t heard any more on that, so imagine my surprise when I’m at a birthday party this evening and get a call from my supervisor with a new placement!!

It is PERFECT!!!

Three siblings, from another county, so I never have to meet the birth parents and will not have to participate in any sort of visitation between the children and the birth family. But best of all—the ages:

a preemie boy, not even released from the hospital yet!!

a 16 month old boy

and

a 2 year old girl!!!!

I already have clothes for the girl that I’ve been buying for my girls!! I’m hoping I can borrow some preemie clothes from friends and I should have plenty for the 16 month old. They will arrive on Monday!

Please pray for a smooth transition. I have to take a class at MCG on how to care for a preemie. I am so very excited to have a newborn in the house. Pray that the baby doesn’t have any effects from mom’s drug use.

I’ll update soon. Owen’s birthday party is Saturday.

~audrey