I smile every time I hear the country song Beautiful Mess. The song has nothing to do with this post, but I still like the title. :)

I can’t quite describe to you how the last three days have been in my house.

Quiet.
Calm.
Right.
Adventurous.
Loving.
Sweet.
Splendor.

I feel like I’ve arrived at the place in which my family has always meant to be. Mom and her boys, gathered around the table, hands folded, listening intently as Mom reads from an old King James Bible. Smiling as we take turns praying, knowing God hears each word. I’ve been praying and reading and praying and praying that God would help me to have a meek and quiet spirit. I want to speak life into each of my children as I spend time with each of them individually. I want them to ask me anything and know that they’ll get a wise and gentle answer.
I was on the phone earlier today with a new friend. Together, we’ve taken on some nursery coordinating responsibilities regarding our homeschool co-op and things are getting stressful as we try to comply with the hosting church’s rules as well as meet as many needs for our co-op families as possible. She was getting to her wit’s end when she suddenly stopped and said, “I love talking to you. You’re so calm and encouraging.” Tears filled my eyes as I realized God was using me to reassure her, even when I was feeling anything but calm and encouraging. My pastor said many times from the pulpit, “You can act your way into a feeling much easier than you can feel your way into an action.” Knowing God desires for me to be patient and calm and loving toward my children, I’ve been consciously using a calm and gentle tone in my voice, even when I’d rather yell. I’ve been extra encouraging with my middle child, who often needs the most love and affection. As a result, I’ve been so incredibly relaxed.

I leave our breakfast mess in the sink and on the counter each morning, knowing I’ll get to it within the next two hours.

I don’t fear our next foster placement, knowing God will fit them into our lives just as He has intended. We got a call about two more children today. After praying, calling my husband, and deciding to say ‘yes’, I called the agency back. Of course I immediately begin making plans and arrangements. I need to pick up the other mattress from the Bailey’s, set up the other twin bed, take down the crib, pick up enrollment forms from the elementary school, etc, etc. About 30 minutes later, the agency called back. Apparently DFCS couldn’t wait the 35 minutes it took us to make a decision about the children, so they placed them with another agency. Without getting flustered at all, I simply looked at the boys and said, “Sorry boys, God put them somewhere else. We’ll get another call soon.” That is the 4th call we’ve gotten in the last two weeks. Two fell through and we had to say ‘no’ to two because they were too far out of our age preference.

I’m overwhelmingly excited at the thought of taking a pregnancy test at the end of each month, not knowing what it will say. I haven’t seen two lines in almost four years. That’s hard to comprehend. I get a knot in my throat as I watch my boys (particularly Joshua) hold Ashley’s twins and oooh and aaahh over newborns at church.

All of those things have lead me to see my life as a big beautiful mess right now.

Through it all, I remind myself daily that God is not the author of confusion, nor does He give us a spirit of fear.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

~audrey

Days, that is.

Richmond County requires that homeschooling students log at least 180 days of school per year. Of course, if we sent in attendance sheets year round for everyday that we learn great stuff at home (or in the car, or on vacation), we’d probably log more like 300, but we’ll just report what’s required.

Today was a total success. We started the day off right, reading out of Ephesians 6 and praying together. School time went smoothly with no complaining. I’m really really excited to have all of my boys home with me this year. I look forward to the days and years to come. I’m excited about all of the things we will learn and discover together. I’m so thankful for the freedom to teach my children at home. I hope to never take it for granted.

We finished school around 11:30 this morning and the boys ran off to play, like puppies released from their leashes. No TV, no computer, no DS, not even any music played as I packed up the books for the day and listened to the boys play trains with their little brother. It was a sweet time. Moments like those make me so very excited at the thought of another baby. We’re trusting the Lord for His perfect timing. After trying for a year to get pregnant with Owen, we’ve decided to leave it up to God (as if it really would have happened any other way!!) as to when we will get pregnant with number four…or number four and five! LOL! See, while twin pregnancies seem to be happening ALL around us, I actually do have the genetic cards stacked in my favor (or against me, depending on how I choose to look at it).
Twins are only genetic on the female’s side and only from her mother. Twin pregnancies tend to skip a generation, but I’m not sure that is scientific. In any case, my mother and her TWIN brother were numbers four and five in their family! My mother did not have twins, so not only is it my turn, but your chances increase with each year of age and with each recurring pregnancy. Twin pregnancies fascinate me, but I prefer one at a time, so that is certainly what I’ll be praying for. I just wanted to clear up the misconception that twins can run on either side of the family, from any family member, identical or fraternal…it’s just not true. Identical twins on the other hand, are a completely spontaneous miracle!
Tomorrow, school must start early so Josh and I can make an 11:00 training at the foster agency.
Can’t wait to hear how everyone else’s first day went!!
Happy Monday!
~audrey

I don’t know about you, but I like to get comfortable when I’m at home for the night. I was sitting on my bed talking with Josh when he asked if I would mind going to the store to get a movie from RedBox. I was still dressed, so I hopped up, grabbed my purse and headed for Walmart.

I had just started the dishwasher and needed more dishwasher detergent, so I was glad to go to the store by myself for a few minutes. As I parked the car and walked toward the entrance, I felt the blood leave my face as I realized I had forgotten to put my bra back on!!! Thankfully, I was wearing a camisole under my shirt, but I was still paranoid and embarrassed. I suppose I fit right in with the PeopleofWalmart.com!

As the boys and I drove thru Starbucks this morning, the boys noticed several bright butterflies on the bushes next to the drive thru. Owen’s favorite color is orange and one of the biggest ones we saw was orange. The picture isn’t great because I used my phone, but I thought I’d post it anyway.

It’s one of my favorite times of year again:

Yankee Candle Company has votives and tarts for $1 with $5 flat rate shipping!!

If you don’t see the discount applied automatically in your shopping cart, use the promo code: TS008A1

My favorite scents are:

Cranberry Chutney
Red Berry and Cedar (for the holidays)
Garden Sweet Pea

The sale ends on August 8, so hurry over to YankeeCandle.com! :)

~audrey