Over the years, my dear husband helped me come to the realization that I was a major control freak.  I never accepted help for anything because I was afraid it either wouldn’t get done, or it wouldn’t get done the way I wanted it done.  Of course this issue with control continued into motherhood.  When my first two boys, Joshua and Jesse, were very little, I did EVERYTHING for them.  When most parents were putting a bowl of spaghetti in front of their toddler, I was cutting it up into millimeter sized bites and feeding it to them on a spoon.  My babies never wore bibs.  They never had the opportunity to get messy!  I can’t remember the first time I allowed Joshua or Jesse to have a ‘sucker’, but it certainly wasn’t in the first two years of their life.  The clothing that Owen, my sixteen month old, is wearing right now, is clothing that both Joshua and Jesse wore when they were that age.  It is in ‘like new’ condition.  That is partly because Joshua is just as much of a neat freak as his mother and he never liked to be dirty as a toddler.  The other reason is simply because I didn’t let them get nasty.  As I’ve gained more wisdom and knowledge, little by little, whether through experience or the advice of other mommy friends, I’ve learned to loosen up.  For example, my best friend laughed histarically of the picture of Owen with chili all over his hands and face and the bowl sitting right in front of him at his highchair.  Joshua and Jesse have NO pictures like that.  However, now that I have four other mouths to feed, the convenience of having my toddler feed himself appeals to me more than the idea of a clean baby after mealtime.   Does it leave a little more work for me after dinner?  Yes.  But was I able to actually sit down and eat my own food at the same time as the rest of my family?  Yes!  Ironically, I feel like I have better control of my household as a whole as I’ve gained experience over the years.  I cook more, the laundry stays under control, my house stays pretty clean, and I’m on top of our finances.  Yet through that process, I’ve learned to let go.  I’ve learned that life is simply too short to push my kids aside for one more hour just so I can finish cleaning my kitchen.  I’ve forced myself to look back on my own childhood and what I was able to experience when I was six years old.  Life was fun.  We were care-free!  And that lead me to examine how my children would describe their lives on any given day.  I want them to be able to look back and smile because… “Mommy would let us splash naked in the puddles of our driveway after it rained.  We went on wild adventures in the backyard with flashlights and mom’s gardening shovels.  We rode bikes by the river until our legs could no longer push the peddles.  Daddy took us camping all the time and we’d stay up late looking at stars and roasting marshmallows.  Mommy and Daddy always found a way to turn discipline into a life lesson, never without quoting the word of God.  We turned everyday errands into acts of service for those less fortunate.  We learned the value of a servant spirit.  We had a great childhood!”  I’ve learned to evaluate my priorities daily.  At the end of each day, I ask myself; did I spend valuable quality time with the Lord, my husband, and my children?  Because the truth is, whether I cleaned my house, did a load of laundry, or had a gourmet meal on the table doesn’t matter in view of eternity.  Have you learned to let go?  Do you choose to laugh as many times as possible every single day?  I challenge you to let yourself relax.  Enjoy all the little things that you take for granted in your life.  Take a long bath with your favorite book.  Go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink if it means 20 more minutes of quality time with your husband.  Or better yet, let your kids do the dishes and let them splash each other and make a mess while they do it!  They’ll remember that much better than what you made for dinner or whether the kitchen was clean when they woke up the next morning.  Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

~audrey